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La Lohan Stalks Her Prey
Michael Phelps is allegedly learning that it doesn't pay to stand out too much. Now that the Olympics are over and he has returned home to bathe in the adoration of his fellow countrymen, it seems there is a new threat on the horizon Lindsay Lohan. His mother tried to head Lindsay off at the pass, but it was useless, and as sources of the UK Mirror report:
"At first [Phelps] thought it was a joke when she got in touch. But she's since been phoning and texting constantly. It's become a running joke in his camp. Lindsay has been trying to meet up with him. They're both going to the MTV Video Music Awards next month so they'll be sure to see each other properly then."
Phelps has no chance. I know for a fact that the MTV Video Music awards are held on dry land, and on dry land, nobody in the world stalks a penis with the speed and accuracy of Lindsay Lohan. At this point, Phelp's only hope is that Samantha 'The Cockblocker' Ronson will be there to ward off all penises with her glare of doom.
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