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The Results Are In!

Category: gossip | Online: April 11 2007
Views: 3033
It´s been a long struggle for paternity of Anna Nicole´s baby, but today, at long last, the DNA results were in. Larry Birkhead is the father, which I guess means that Howard Stern lost both his wife and his daughter in a matter of months. Oh well, at least Dannielynn will grow up knowing who her actual father is and away from the guy who took footage of her mother pregnant, wasted off her face and wearing clown make up.

Results were announced at the Bahamian Supreme court, where a doctor stated that Larry Birkhead was 99.9999% likely to be the father of Dannilynn. Larry was ecstatic, announcing to all and sundry outside the courthouse saying ´I told you so.´

It´s very comforting to know that Dannielynn will be raised by a guy with the mental/emotional age of a ten year old. They will probably have lots in common besides genetic bonds as she grows. He can advise her on advanced life skills, like ´I know you are, but what am I?´ and ´Hey, I screwed your wife and got her pregnant.´ Except of course, Dannielynn won´t be able to get girls pregnant.
Tags: Anna Nicole Smith  Dannielynn  Larry Birkhead  

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