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Jessica Simpson Can Walk Barely
Jessica Simpson has been quiet for a while. In fact, apart from making terrible movies which don't even get so far as bombing at the box office, and dating men with unnaturally large heads, I have no idea what she's been doing. Apparently however, she's run into some trouble with the whole 'walking' thing. She was attending the 11th Annual Ace Awards in NYC when tragedy struck, and her heel became trapped. For a moment there it looked like she was going to fall, but instead she just treated the crowd to some tightrope walker impressions.
She also has big breasts? Did I mention her big breasts? They're like, really really big. Even if she had fallen over, she wouldn't have hurt herself because those babies would totally have broken her fall.In fact, she probably would have bounced right back up again, like one of those stress toys you get to punch.
Not that you should ever punch Jessica Simpson. By the looks of things if she loses any more brain cells, she could be in some serious trouble.
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