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Jessica Simpson Sued For Hurting Fat People
I always knew that a cruel inner beast must lurk inside the happy go lucky ditzy blonde exterior that is Jessica Simpson, and now my suspicions have been confirmed with a law suit being brought against her by a fitness company called Speedfit. It would seem that Jessica made a multi million dollar deal with Speedfit to make an exercise video for them, but she backed out of the deal at the last minute.
Speedfit are suing her, not because she cost them large amounts of money, or because she broke the contract they had with her, no, they're suing her and her father because: "They are hurting millions of fat people in America."
The obesity epidemic makes total sense now, it's all Jessica Simpson's fault. People are only sitting on their giant asses and wolfing down fast food because her exercise video hasn't yet made it into the bargain bins of department stores nationwide.
Damn you Jessica! You're their only hope!
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