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Akonīs Dirty Little Secret
You know Akon, that badass convict rapper who did four years of hard time in the slammer for jacking a car? He's pretty hard, huh? The sort of guy you'd want protecting you from the jail house gang bangs? Well guess again chaps, you need a new underworld hero, because Akon has never set foot in prison.
He was once charged with stealing a BMW, but the case was dropped and Akon got away with just three years probation. That wasn't enough to launch a music career on though, so instead he told everyone that he was the leader of a car jacking ring.
There go all my illusions, shattered into a million pieces. The only consolation is that he really does simulate sex with underage girls on stage, and that he has injured fans by throwing them at one another. So I guess he is kind of sort of bad ass in a 'would probably cry like a big baby if he actually went to prison', kind of way.
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