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Heidi Montag Will Rule The Word
Heidi Montag is so fucking retarded I'm surprised she doesn't have to wear a bib. Harsh words, but nothing less than harsh words (and perhaps a tragic domestic gun accident) are going to stop Heidi from foisting more of her ridiculous boob fueled merchandise upon the unsuspecting world. It's a war people! And we have to win it!
Whilst the rest of us slumber and play and go on with our merry little lives, Heidi Montag is releasing a new single, planning a video, and is in talks with Ubisoft to release a video game. If things continue at the current rate, we'll all be eating with Heidi Montag themed cutlery off plates shaped like overinflated breasts whilst Heidi's latest single blares from the tv in the wall that you can't turn off.
Don't believe that things could get that bad? Think again. Heidi has announced her desire to collaborate musically with the likes of Britney Spears and Madonna, and whilst such unholy unions stand a remote chance of happening at present, if Heidi continues to consolidate her power, we could one day be blinded by crazy Britney, geriatric Madonna, and loon faced Heidi all on a screen at once. Once that happens, I think the world is legally required to implode.
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